What Is My Cat Plotting?
Intelligence gathered from highly questionable sources.
Your cat appears innocent. This is concerning.
BossCat.Life
Currently under feline management
Absolutely No Useful Purpose
RANDOM
CAT CHAOS
Cats commit crimes. Cats deny everything.
Humans document the incident.
Nobody learns anything.
🚨 OFFICIAL CAT INCIDENT REPORT
CASE #0001
FELINE MISCONDUCT DIVISION
Suspect:
Unknown feline
Incident:
Suspicious activity has been reported.
Location:
Somewhere the cat was definitely not supposed to be.
Damage:
Investigation pending.
Suspect's statement:
“I decline to answer on the grounds that I am a cat.”
“I decline to answer on the grounds that I am a cat.”
VERDICT:
Extremely suspicious.
SENTENCE: Released into own custody.
SENTENCE: Released into own custody.
Important Feline Intelligence
Scientifically unsupported information you absolutely did not need.
Feline Threat Level
Assess the current domestic security situation.
🟢 LOAF — currently pretending to be harmless.
Human Performance Review
Your annual evaluation has been completed by management.
Breakfast punctuality requires improvement.
Get Down From There!
Click the cat. The cat will immediately relocate somewhere worse.
🐈 MANAGEMENT REFUSES COMPLIANCE
Moves: 0
Level: 1
🐾 OFFICIAL BOSS CAT HOUSE RULE
Any chair vacated for longer than four seconds becomes feline property.
🐾 OPEN A RANDOM CAT PORTAL
Management has approved a small list of cat-care, cat-behavior, and cat-internet rabbit holes. Click responsibly. Or do not. The cat is not your supervisor. Technically.
Opens in a new tab. Curated cat nonsense only.